Boring-Eater

How the Boring-Eater eats

The Boring-Eater eats watermelon from a labelled container, with a fork, at their desk, at the same time every afternoon. The cubes are cut on Sunday night and portioned for the week. No juice reaches the keyboard. No seed is ever discussed. As Blue as they come, they keep the melon cold, the routine colder, and the conversation at zero. They will tell you it is the most efficient way to eat fruit. They are right, and nobody wants to hear it.

Signature habits

• Cuts a week of cubes on Sunday night.
• Eats with a fork at their desk.
• Labels the container with the date.